le sigh.... *randomness... (drafted Feb 2015, forgot to publish...duh.)

While everyone and their mamas are preparing to watch the Superbowl game, I’m here, at home, alone. Not lonely, …just alone. And what better circumstance is there to write? Well, there have been a few things on my mind lately … One thing is the realization I am in control of how I feel at any given moment, about any given situation. This was a great revelation a few days ago while trying to maneuver through the madness that is work but now, for some reason, I’m stuck. At this minute, this very second, right now…I’m stuck. I’m satisfied, yet restless.

Ok, this is what’s revolving around my head right now. First, I’ve started a new (recycled from the past) business of creating gift items. I’m busy advertising and trying to get myself and business name out there. I’ve created a website (www.planningdaydreams.com just in case you’re interested!); I’ve created a facebook page (www.facebook.com/planningdaydreams again, just in case). I’m in the midst of a give-away to get the brand out there to the ‘public’, in fact, I’ve already completed my first sale item and I’ve created and ordered business cards. *sigh…

The next thing is my relationship with Baby. This is the most wonderful, amazing, in-sync relationship I’ve experienced! He’s everything I want and need in a man. He had to work this morning and because of the distance, I wasn’t able to see him today but we’ve communicated and I’m sure we’ll talk more later this evening. He supports me, understands me, and makes me feel secure in all ways. He makes me smile. I’m happy.

Lastly, my most recent home improvement project is complete. I finally got the wood floors I've dreamed of since moving into my home and they are more beautiful than I imagined. My space is clean and comfortable and I've enjoyed a late lunch and dessert (ColdStone Ice Cream!)

Now…? Now…I think I must finally sit my butt down somewhere and just BREATHE. Just RELAX. Just BE. I guess that’s a good thing. In fact, I'm sure that's a good thing. ...It's ALL good.

Forced Patience

It seems lately I’m feeling some type of way. I feel as if I’m standing before the “next step” creatively speaking, but am being held back from taking it. And it’s not just one “next step”, but several. I want to write, create, speak, vlog, everything! I want to do all of my passions…NOW! At this moment, I’ve worked on creating yet another venture for myself…vlogging. I included another individual to be a part of this project. See, my issue is, I’ve done this before..included someone in on my idea, only to be thwarted and/or held back by lack of action on their part, rather intentional or not. I find myself here again.

Now don’t get me wrong. I would love to have a partner in this but situations in my partner’s life have halted progress. I don’t want to be insensitive because I know it’s legitimate. But this creative bubble inside is about to burst out of me! Honestly, I’m willing to wait, I guess, but I fear it will be a permanent wait.

My options now are: 1. Start the project solo, awaiting my partner’s joining; 2. Start a similar, individual project, by myself; 3. Just wait. *le sigh….

Start of Something New...

I'm uncertain. And anxious. And nervous. And all the other emotions that come with trying something new. I'm in the process of launching a new business. It's a Gift Item/Event Planning business. I'm feeling some type of way, not because starting a business is new for me, but because this is the first time I'm advertising a business I've started across all of my contacts. All of my contacts, meaning, not just my family and unknown strangers, but to include using social media. By using social media, I've opened the door for all of my friends and so-called friends, to "make me feel some type of way" about my choices.

I read this quote by motivational speaker Tony Gaskins, that said "Don't denounce your greatness because cowards have an opinion. People who are afraid to add to the world criticize those who are trying. Don't be afraid to be amazing." I keep reading this quote because it's perfect for me at this moment. I think I'll be visiting this quote a lot in the next few days. Pray for me y'all.

BTW...more information about my new business can be found at the following: www.planningdaydreams.com and www.facebook.com/planningdaydreams Visit me when you get a free moment! I look forward to hearing from you!!

~Toodles!

"Timing"

"Dodging the connection with the childhood crush, the one who had the potential to keep me locked in a situation much longer than I should have been; feeling like fate was against me for blocking the “date of a lifetime”. Missing the encounter on the train, believing my destined mate bypassed me due to bad timing when in reality, the timing was perfect, preparing my psyche to know someone existed that could move me with a mere glance of his visual. The many nights wondering why I stayed so long, when destiny knew you weren’t ready for me nor I, you just yet. Feeling your presence on a spiritual level but not able to grasp the physical you. The pain of broken hearts, lies, betrayals and misconceived limitations. Thinking I was missing out on living when I was just waiting for life, preparing and placing me in your pathway." ~JustTrena