Ok, so I haven’t been here in a minute…only because I’ve been busy doing a little bit of “living”. Things are rolling along decently and I’m satisfied with the status quo. “Online Interest” and I have closed the deal, meaning exclusivity in our dating and that is going smoothly. My girls are a little more self-sufficient, with the new driver’s licenses and all. ….all sounds good right? “So, why the “Misery” title JustTrena?” Here’s why…
Many moons ago I wrote about misery loving company in this very blog, if I’m not mistaken. The post was about dealing with negative folks, with all of their negativity, and how they seem to transfer that bad energy to you when you're around them. Well, this post carries the topic a little further...
In my 46 years on this earth (yes, I just had a birthday!! Yay! ...and I had an awesome time celebrating {that will be another post!}), I’ve learned that when a person is unhappy or miserable, there’s really no cure until that individual find true clarity within themselves. It doesn’t matter how much talking to, counseling, “being there”, you try… until that person is ready to stop being “miserable”, there’s nothing YOU can do but one of two things….continue being there, listening and absorbing all of the negativity into yourself OR detach yourself from that person until he/she heals. For now, I’ve consciously chosen to “be there”, BUT only for a little while more. My friends and family question my decision….I don’t even have an answer. I just know someone who I called friend is hurting so deeply and has struck out at so many other people in her life that they’ve detached themselves from her, and for some reason, I’m not at my breaking point …YET, although I've come extremely close.
When this type of person is in your life, all of your achievements become mediocre in their eyes. Oh, there will be NO rejoicing at your successes; and you can best believe a “knife tip and jab” will show up somewhere along the conversation to make sure you feel a little less about yourself IF you’re not aware of where it’s coming from. I’ve had life celebrations ignored and blown off by this individual with all kinds of excuses. And, silly me, have continued to pass out the invitations, HOPING the depression has waned, even a little bit. Not yet. But later may be too late.
I can’t stay in a friendship where I am the sounding block for your misery. I’ve given all of my opinions, suggestions, point of views I’m willing to give right now. I will not be a part of your talking yourself into believing what you do is “alright”. It’s not. Not at all. Maybe hitting rock bottom is the cure for you. Maybe detaching will force you to see it’s YOU, and not the many other folks who’ve left or you’ve “cut off” because they’ve come too close to telling you to “get over it already”. Life happens to us all and to grieve about unfairness is normal …to be vicious and mean to those who’ve tried to support you, is not normal.
I’m extremely close to joining the ranks of the others who’ve detached. We’ll see…
