Wide Open ...or Nah??

My original intent was to sign on and journal my most recent happenings. But I find myself hesitating…not because I don’t want to write about it but because the subject of my attention my read this one day soon. Sooner than the required amount of time has passed..and no, I don’t know when that time is at this moment. And as open as I am, I’m not sure if it would be wise of me to put it ALL out there, risking spoiling a part of the discovery process for him. Therefore, instead of the “gushing and sickening mushing” of this situation, I’ll stick to the peripheral of things …lol.. Well, I may go there a little bit…get your barf bags ready, just in case! ..lol..

I know what you’re thinking…. “Here we go again”, right? Well, no…it’s not right. At least not 100% right. Yeah, here "we go" with me meeting someone new. But my reaction is totally different this time around. Why? Because this one, this one is ….different. I’m almost scared. Not because of anything that is him, this is all about me this time.

Wait a minute, let me clarify… Last dude had the outside things, well, attempted to portray himself as having all of the outside things, with "outside" meaning the basic person…the characteristics of a good person. THIS one though…it seems to travel along a deeper plane. “What the heck are you talking about JustTrena?” <-- that’s what you’re saying right? Ok, let me see how I can explain this…. India Arie has a song titled “The Truth” (I’ll attempt to post it below). There’s a verse in that song that defines what I’m feeling right now:

“I remember the very first day that I saw him
I found myself immediately intrigued by him
Its almost like I knew this man from another life
Like back then maybe I was his husband and maybe he was my wife
And even, the things I don't like about him are fine with me
Because its not hard for me to understand him because he's so much like me
And its truly my pleasure to share his company
And I know that it's God's gift to breathe the air he breathes”

Now, the risk in posting this? If, by chance, he happens to read this before it’s expressed outside of this forum, I don’t want him to feel any pressure from this. No, I’m not stalking, no I’m not (that) pressed, no, I’m not demanding anything extra of him. It’s just the way I feel right now. I'll explore and post more later...

Oh! Here's the video (or nah!):



~Toodles!