Unchartered Territory

Lately, I’ve been trying to fully participate in this space I find myself in. This space called “single”….NOT to be confused with loneliness, …no, just being solo, relationship-wise, post legal adulthood. I left the comforting arms of my parents once I turned 18 to join the military; was married from the ripe old age of 21 until exactly twenty-nine days after my 45th birthday. There’s only been one serious relationship since, which ended a few weeks ago, and now I find myself….single. Even during the divorce/ separation process, I had lawyers and other distractions to give me that false sense of security. This is my very first time being out here truly on my own, without parents, the military, a spouse or boyfriend to provide that safety net and to be honest, it’s ENLIGHTENING. I’m learning so much about myself at this time as I’m forced to only deal with me in the decisions I make and the directions I take.

This space… is a somewhat calming place. There are no expectations, therefore there are no disappointments deriving from an outside source, other than myself; if I want to go somewhere or do something, I don’t feel obligated to get anyone else’s participation or consensus; and surprisingly, my phone has “detached” itself from its permanent spot on my hip!

I remember all of the things that intrigued me during the time I was married…all of the spontaneous and “new” concepts that are now out there that weren’t there prior to my “marital bliss”. Things such as travel and social meetup.com groups, impromptu daytrips, online dating, speed dating, heck, dating period! In fact, that’s something else I’m discovering….I haven’t truly “dated” in over 24 years! I’m not saying I haven’t been on a date, but to actually “date”? It’s been a while. My last relationship kinda skipped that part; we went from “hello” to “you’re my man/woman” and I do believe this fact played a major part in its demise, but I digress...

These new and spontaneous concepts…. I want to experience them ALL! And what better time than now, to do that! So, which do I start with? Actually, I’ve already started perusing the meetup.com groups to find like-minded folks to do all of these newly found things with! I’ve even joined a couple of them! The rest of the items are on my “to do” list and I plan on getting involved with those sooner rather than later. And guess who will be one of the first to know about each of these experiences? Why YOU, my dearest reader…that’s who!! ;-)

"A Season"

Standing back, watching the sun slowly set in the horizon;

Remembering waking up to its bright and lovely rays after so much rain

Basking in the afternoon sunshine,

Walking amongst the evening beams,

You were a beautiful day while it lasted.


© Trena Jones, August 2012

Letting Go...

A few days ago I made a decision to end a relationship that was very important to me. It wasn’t sudden but it didn’t require months upon months to attempt to figure out. In the last couple months of that relationship, I felt alone; even though there were daily conversations, there was only minimal connection.

I’ve been known to advise folks,… no, I’ve dictated and stressed the point, of not making excuses for other folks bad behavior. If you read further back in my postings you will see my occasional rant about making your partner a priority when you’re only an option to them…where I would say, “if he REALLY wanted to be with you, nothing on God’s green earth would stop him from doing that!” And yet, here I was…questioning myself on whether or not I made the right decision in attempting to end this before my feelings and attitude turned into something negative. When lately, it seemed, ANYTHING could quickly place me on the back burner of his attention…making plans and not following through; numerous conversations about what was needed in the relationship with promises to “work on it” but no actions behind the declarations; outside forces that may have influenced decisions made, whether intentional or not on their parts.

*sidenote here: Folks, friends are good to have but if your partner is hearing about what “they” are saying about them, yet have never had the pleasure to meet them, a problem may arise. Not just one of the everyday problems that’s bound to happen in any relationship, but one of those “I-can’t-speak-honestly-about-this-to-you-because-I-know-how-much-this-friend(ship)-means-to-you” types of problems…or an “I-don’t-want-to-negatively-affect-your-friendship-by-expressing-what-I-feel-because-I-know-they-are-important-to-you” types of problems…second only to children and religion.

To be fair, he had a plan…to work hard and get in a better position life-wise. I totally got that. However, when time is found for any other extra thing, why couldn’t time be found to spend with me? When I expressed a concern, instead of addressing it, I’m charged with being negative and/or thinking negatively? When my requests and time are no longer important or respected? I just wasn’t a priority anymore. So I had to let go.

Settling…or Being Realistic?

Alright folks, let's pull out the “Must Have” lists…yep, that list which names all of the things your dream guy or girl has got to have in order for us to be happy with them. We all have them, those lists... some written down while others are subconsciously engrained in the back of our minds.

We’ve heard our girlfriends talk about how they want a man who has a six-figure paycheck, perfect body, intelligent and kind. >_> …ok, by a show of hands, how many of ya’ll, after hearing this come from one of your friends, have said to yourself, “Honey, how you gonna want all that when you barely making ends meet, is overweight and mean as a bull?” Or fellows, you’ve heard your homeboys talk about how his woman’s gotta be fine as wine, has a flawless face, and is submissive to boot? And your thoughts were, “Man, how you gon’ get all that when you straight “tore up from the floor up” yourself?” LOL!! It's a true trip out here ya'll! Folks are making their lists and checking them twice! I've heard friends name all sorts of minor behavior or some trivial slight as “deal breakers”, while I’m saying to myself….Girl…Really? …smh…

But seriously, expectations are fine and to want someone who’s complimentary to you, is even better, but when does the “list” go too far? Is it reality to think you’re going to find that perfect person who just so happens to be kind, generous, fine, smart, WHO ACTUALLY WANTS YOU and don’t mind putting up with all the lack of things you’re NOT bringing to the table? Hey, it can happen…. but if you haven’t won the lottery lately, I wouldn’t bet on it.

No way am I saying settle for someone who you can’t even stand to look at or hang out with. All I’m saying is, people, give the average man and woman a chance! Please allow them and yourselves the opportunity to meet. You just never know….your “Mr Do Right” may be just around the corner…or just hanging on the corner (just kidding!)? Besides, perfection makes you work too hard! ..lol...


How you gonna demand this:

when you look like this:

...I'm just saying... ~Toodles!

A Good Match is Hard to Find

A day or so ago, I was speaking with a couple of my single girlfriends. One topic that continuously comes up is ...”Why is it so hard to find a man?”! It’s not that it’s hard to find a man, per se, but the ones they’re meeting never seem to “match”!! You may be asking yourself.. “JustTrena, what in the world are you talking about?” LOL..Ok, I’ll explain…

Do you remember the movie “Friday”, starring Chris Tucker and Ice Cube? In that movie, Chris’ character went on a rant about how “Craig and ‘em” never had anything that matched… “…Either y'all got Kool-Aid no sugar, peanut butter no jelly, ham, no burger. Daamn. ...!” That same dilemma is what many single women are facing now-a-days! It seems there are not many men out there that match! You have the “asshole who’s financially stable”; the “nice guy who’s broke”; the “charming but insecure” dude; the “tall illiterate guy”; the “super short intelligent man”…and the list goes on! Where are the financially secure nice guys at? Or the charming yet secure dudes? …. <_< … O_O... >_> … Anyone knows??

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there’s ANYTHING wrong with a tall guy or a short guy or whatever other trait an individual may or may not prefer, but where are the men with the traits that match and complete the whole picture when it comes to women’s preferences? One girlfriend said she met the most generous and kind dude….turns out he’s insecure and needy! What’s up with that?! Another friend met a gorgeous guy…why is he about three steps from illiterate? I mean, really??

Some men say once women get to a certain financial status, we become “stuck up” and/or “hard to please”. That may be true for some but for the women I associate with, it’s just boils down to not being able to find a decent “match”. Yeah, there’s always that self-proclaimed “nice guy” who’s constantly on one, talking about how nice he is and how women overlook him for the “bad boys”. Man, whatever! I feel any dude who has to make the announcement about how “nice” he is, probably isn’t really that nice and/or don’t “match”!! Yeah, dude, you may think you’re nice but how long do you expect a woman to stick around if you’re insecure? Or needy? Or always worried about the next dude? Sheesh….

I definitely know that money doesn’t make a man or that a nice body doesn’t make a nice person….but come on ya’ll…can a girl get some freakin’ Kool-Aid AND sugar??!! LOL…

Man... just stop it!!

Men, if you are using your luxury cars and other worldly possessions to get and attract women, don’t get mad when that’s what attracts them to you! If you consider that type of woman to be a “gold-digger”, then you, Dear Sirs, are “gold-mines”! Stop it!!

Just smile...say "Hello!"...keep it moving...

As mentioned in the post below, the lyrics to Wale’s song “Diary” is a true testament to the way many women act and many men feel. Are we our own worst enemies when it comes to moving beyond our past relationships and past hurts?

I’ve heard many men say they’re very hesitant to even say hello to black women because “they always act like somebody trying to get with them…why can’t a brotha’ just speak to ya’ll without all the attitude?” >_> Yeah, ladies, ya’ll know we’re guilty of it, and I’ve acknowledged my part in it EXCEPT I’m making an effort to cease and desist the foolishness! To be honest, my reaction wasn’t due to the fact I may have thought dude wanted to get with me; my reaction was because I’m such a FREAKIN’ CHICKEN when it comes to men! Yeah, I can talk and joke around until the cows come home but try that one-on-one thing and I’m doing the old shoe scuff, leg swing thing…

Yeah, that’s me….sad, isn’t it?

Maybe women do have bad experiences with some menfolk who decide if you don’t go beyond the “good morning”, you’re acting some kind of way and they then feel it’s their personal life’s quest to tell you what they feel you’re acting like {insert the “B” word here}. So to counter the expected “dish”, females just cut it all off short. The only problem with this is, if the dude ISN’T trying to flirt and/or being ignorant, you’ve dogged an innocent bystander!

After personally being in a relationship that didn’t work out, I know there can be shell-shock after one goes wrong; I can only imagine if someone has gone through several bad breakups/relationships. But I’ve always felt, no matter how many buttholes you meet, there’s got to be a prince mixed in the group somewhere. I mean, I have male friends who are nice, cool dudes and I know they’re not the only ones out there. One assclown doeth not maketh them all. Yes, I have faith in the male species!! Besides, that same assclown may have been one of the “good guys” before an untrusting, hurt woman turned him otherwise.

Ok, all of this to say…stop ignoring, disrespecting, judging, emasculating, etc…our brothers on the basis of a few (or many) assclowns. The effort it takes to smile and simply say “hello” is much less stress than the whole “anticipation of a confrontation” that happens when we’re walking along, see a brotha’ approaching, then deciphering ALL of the conversation we have in our heads about how we’re going to ignore him. Smile….”hello”…keep it moving” …see? …not even two seconds…

**For those who didn’t do the assigned homework (google lyrics) here are the lyrics to Wale’s song “Diary” (video below):

“If I told you I wanted to talk to you,
You think I'm try'na holla at you,
And maybe I am but,
You wouldn't hear me out anyway's would you? ,
Rather lose love than to move on never knowing what it feel like,
Short days, long nights,
By the phone, no call,
Need a clear mind 'cause I been blind, got me goin' down that road,
Heart made of stone,
Far away from home,
Black woman you cold,
Every problem you ever had with another man I gotta face,
Started off on thin ice,
I'm still here but I can't skate,
Slow sink, can't breath, no remorse, don't think,
Listen to your friend get another man for a minute then repeat,
Queen, you deserve the title but she rejects what I give, while she nurse the wounds by them,
Tried them, didn't work, got impossible standards, nothing I'm a do is gon' work,
Diary of a black girl,

[chorus]
I wonder why I sit and cry,
Wish I could shed all these tears,
I'm down and out,
I'll keep on moving and tryna get out,
I don't know how to move on,
Where I went wrong,
I wish I could live with no fear,
So down and out,
I'll keep it moving and tryna get out,
Somehow,

Raised by a momma who, who,
Hates her baby father so, so
She don't have a problem with, with,
Saying fuck a nigga Quick, quick,
I'm just tryna be the one who never run, but you run away from me,
Girlfriends man cheat, cheat,
Why not me the same thing,
She can't see in me, what I see in her,
This pain she inherit can't be reversed,
I can't even stay living in the shade of all the motherfuckers who played you,
The irony in that is that I aint even that, but you put in these pages,
Wife, you deserve the label but, but, you been hurt before so you don't feel your able,
Tried them didn't work, got impossible standards, nothing that I ever do works,
Diary of a black girl,

[chorus]

See all I wanna do is be relevant,
Just tell me that I ever meant anything more,
That you could ever see me and you in another light,
But its like the dark women indoors in the darkest nights by the wrong man,
see all of them have made you incapable of a first impression,
what it do is I channel my aggression with no cable or antenna,
Just intentions to impress you if capable,
Hoping that the material possessions can materialize to a better you,
Cars, nothing I drive can drive you out of this frame of mind,
For such an ugly picture and,
Money, nothing I buy can buy more time for your ears to tell your heart to listen to it,
Diamonds, a girl's best friend is what they say but believe me with the right allegiance shorty you gonna shine anyways,
and everyday that goes by is a couple more lines in her diary,
the day before is better than the present,
so anyone presented in her presence endures these life sentences,
there's no key for release,
no reason to be around,
her minds in the clouds,
she writes it all down,
in her diary.”

Later ya'll! *Check out Wale's "Family Affair"...another deep song lyrically!

"Diary" by Wale featuring Marsha Ambrosius

I'm just now hearing this song by Wale called "Diary" and in my next post, I will discuss this topic a little further... this song is deep and the lyrics are amazing. When you have a free moment, please Google to see the complete set of lyrics. There's a part in the song that goes:

"See all I wanna do is be relevant, Just tell me that I ever meant anything more. That you could ever see me and you in another light. But its like the dark women indoors in the darkest nights by the wrong man, see all of them have made you incapable of a first impression. What it do is I channel my aggression with no cable or antenna, just intentions to impress you if capable. Hoping that the material possessions can materialize to a better you. Cars, nothing I drive can drive you out of this frame of mind, for such an ugly picture and, Money, nothing I buy can buy more time for your ears to tell your heart to listen to it, Diamonds, a girl's best friend is what they say but believe me with the right allegiance shorty you gonna shine anyways..."

Ya’ll, we have to talk about this one! See you in a few!!

Who's the Boss?

My entrepreneur spirit has been stirring wildly lately. I don’t want to endeavor into the “pyramids” or other “join-my-line-so-we-can-all-make-money” schemes. I want to do something that's creative and I enjoy doing, that’s not being offered on every single corner you pass. I want to provide a service that's uniquely "me" and uses my specific talents; one where my success does not depend on anyone but myself; and it's something that I can put my name on. So, as lovely and wonderful as they are, no thanks Avon, MaryKay, etc… that's not for me at this time!

So, now comes the hard part….what am I good at that someone would pay for? I posed this question to some close family members and friends… here’s the list I got:

a. Event planner
b. Hair braider
c. Psychologist (no professional training AT ALL!)
d. Writer

…and for the record, here are the businesses I’ve started in the past:

a. Daycare owner (did VERY well with that one!)
b. Virtual Assistant (never launched but still…)
c. Gift basket business (would have done well if I’d done more “marketing” of the business)

I know the obvious answer would be to go into one of the businesses I’ve already had a taste of…but being a Daycare owner isn’t in the cards at this time for me; being a Virtual Assistant would just seem too much of an extension of what I used to do professionally and holds no true interest for me right now. However, creating beautiful, unique gift baskets…hmmm, maybe. During the short period of producing unique gift baskets, I had the opportunity to do quite a few unique creations! And every customer was highly satisfied…it just seemed my free time just ran out…

Here are a few samples of Gift Baskets I created:

This one was a "Tea Basket" for a retiring co-worker, based on her likes/preferences:

This basket consisted of two ceramic mugs, a variety of teas, hot chocolates, jams, crackers, scones, stirrers, etc…all sitting in a leather-like bed tray.

This one was created for a contractor friend for her Raven's fan boyfriend...purple and gold:

Of course you can see the theme in that one!

Darling Dora:

This Dora bag had purple and pink everything...nail polish, files, even a big purple bottle of bubble bath (in what looked like a champagne bottle), all stuffed in a Dora bag.

All Things Chocolate:

I couldn't believe chocolate bubble gum existed but I found it! lol

The last one I'll post was for a new baby:

...bibs, washclothes, booties, books...

And may I add, all accouterments were handmade by moi!

Surprisingly, you know, just pulling these pictures up has seriously peaked my interest again.…hmmm, maybe I really need to think about restarting this business! It surely meets my criteria of being a business that will allow me to be "uniquely" me; I'll only have myself to hold accountable, and I can definitely put my name on this one!

I'll keep ya'll posted!! I'm off to do a little "catch-up" research on gift baskets!! Later!

HAPPY 4th of JULY FOLKS!!

Hey Ya’ll!

Just a short stop in to say I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July!! Mine was spent in the sun playing, cooking out and swimming at Westmoreland State Park in Virginia and then on to Colonial Beach (in Virginia also) to watch the fireworks. It was so much fun! The only down side was I had to wake up early this morning to drag myself in to work but even that part is okay …better to have a job to drag into than not, so no complaints from me!! Chat with ya later!

*Smooches!!

Man...just stop it! *Introduction to my new thang...

Hey Ya'll,
I've decided to start making "things you should know but need to be reminded of" posts. These posts will be my attempt in "reminding" you of actions you (or someone you know) may be guilty of but haven't recognized it within yourself yet. Hope you enjoy and get something out of 'em!

29 June 2012

Man, just stop it! Ladies, when you feel that overwhelming need to “educate” the public about someone, please know, whenever you down another woman who is receiving compliments, you look like a hater. Who cares if “it’s not her real hair” or “those are fake” or “that’s been photo-shopped”? Even if well-intentioned (which it’s usually not), you will look like a hater. Stop it!

The Best of ...Both Worlds?

Yesterday my daughter and I had the conversation of which generation was the “last of the best”; the generation that had wonderful childhood settings as well as potential-filled futures as adults. She felt it was hers (Generation Y) because she feels the teenagers of today have a hand in a technological savvy world and pretty much has access to anything, far and wide, as long as they have the required resources. She also believes, mentally (book-wise) they are smarter.

I disagreed to a certain extent because I believe my generation (Generation X) had the best of both worlds; we got the opportunity to experience the “old” ways and the “new” ways (typewriters and iPads; board/outdoor games and Wiis, rotary phones and smart phones, etc…). We seemed to be the last generation where it was safe to be outside past dusk for the most part, music and art were major subjects in schools, pride in country was a good thing, neighbors seemed to actually care about and watched out for others, the majority of children were raised to be respectful of their elders, and unless they knew something we didn’t down in the south, I can never recall where being outside was detrimental to our health! Back then, punishment was having to come inside from playing; now-a-days, going outside is the punishment! And while I agree kids today are tons smarter, kids of old had stronger minds (and bodies). In my opinion, it seems we were more capable of handling conflict and while I don’t have any definable proof, we were less likely to do mass ragings…back then.

With all of that being said, although Generation X may have had the last of the good childhoods, we are also responsible for this mess of folks being raised now! So yeah, we had it good but we screwed up, big time! We are the generation that has allowed outsiders into the way we discipline our children, we allowed folks to take “God” out of schools, we worked hard for what we had as children but when we begat children of our own, we took away that pride of hard word to replace it with “I want my kids to have better than I did NOW”. Maybe this is because the world we’re living in is affected with an “instant gratification” type of mentality. Yeah, we’re able to now access things like never before but our mind-set has changed from “I’ll work towards being able to have it” to “how fast can we get it and can we get it before the proverbial “Jones” gets it!” ..and the list goes on.

Is it because of the duality of worlds, having a hand in the worlds of old AND new that has messed things up like they seem to be now? Are there trends in history that show how a generation gets lost after an “old and new world” generation exists? Maybe one day I’ll actually research that…

*sigh...Who knows, maybe everything that’s happening here and now has happened since the beginning of time but it’s only recent we’ve been able to broadcast and get knowledge of things taking place states, countries, even worlds away. Maybe it’s because as an adult, I’m more aware of what’s going on in the world I’m living in. Maybe Baby Boomers feel the exact same way I feel about Gen X’ers (them vs us)and we're all at fault in some form or fashion. Heck, maybe I’m just getting old….

To do or not to do?

I was online recently and noticed a post about prenuptial agreements. The premise was, “if you have to have a prenup, you’re looking to fail and/or don’t trust the one you’re with”. <_< I’m pretty sure the folks saying this have never gone through a divorce. It’s not about trusting the one you’re with, it’s about being able to trust who they TURN INTO when things don’t go as planned!

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not about material things. Meaning, it’s not what or how much you have, it’s what you do with those things you do have. I’m not about trying to figure out how much cash or “things” I can take from someone…but having gone through my divorce, I now know things would have been much easier and WAY less expensive if we’d had a plan in place, aka prenup.

If I’d known …..no, if I’d had in writing who would be responsible for doing what in this event, …wow! I know at least $5,000 would have been saved…and that’s just on one party’s side! Another advantage would be you and your partner will have decided all of this during a time you were both working with logic vs. emotion. Imagine how much money would be saved if you weren’t arguing over petty things, just to “score a point”! When you are required to go through mediation and the courts, every second of “mediating” and “courting” cost money. We spent a minimum of 15 minutes, going back and forth, on whom the bookcases would go to! Bookcases, ya’ll!! In the end, I only asked for a few personal effects in the distribution of goods, just to end the unnecessary bickering....may not seem like the smart thing but trust me, "peace-of-mind" out trumps the "one up".

I’m not saying go line by line on who gets every single piece of household goods, but at least have some sort of plan set up to make things easier! How much easier it would be if it’s already agreed upon soon-to-be-hubby will take whatever pets there are because he enjoys animals way more than wifey does; or that wifey will get to keep the collection of dolphins because she’s the one who’s collecting them? Sounds petty, huh? Trust me, these are very mild examples of what can take place during such high level of anxiety and emotional upset.

Now, with all of that said, if you don’t feel it’s the right thing for you,…fine, disregard this and plow straight ahead. And I pray your relationship much success; however, if you’re not sure, at least give it a brain cell or two worth of thought!

Stuck in a Mind-Set

After being part of a couple for so many years, to all of a sudden be flung into being “single” can be quite traumatic. If you’re beyond the age of 40+, the learning curve can feel rather daunting. Not just re-learning how to do things as a singular but to also change your way of thinking non-plural. *that’s not a word? …well, how about this: to only have to consider yourself when making decisions. I know, I know…just the thought of this is overwhelming, right? “You mean to tell me, I can paint my bedroom ANY color I want without snide remarks, negotiations, or veto powers-that-be? Wait a minute,… let me catch my breath! Ok, now, don’t get me wrong, I know perfectly well there’s another side to that too…having to make the decision on whether or not to replace a doo-hickey that you know absolutely NOTHING about, can have the opposite effect. Wait a minute…let me catch my breath!

Thoughts along those lines are almost automatic in your process of detaching from plural but there are other, less obvious things you can get stuck on. The one thing I found myself jammed on was a mind-set. I was so used to thinking a certain way, of having to consider another person’s feelings for such a long time, I got temporarily stalled in the “moving on” process. Making decisions that alters your preferences because you don’t want to make “so-and-so” upset or you don’t want to have to answer any questions from “such-and-such”. What the heck?!! I owe no one anything… I’ve been the best person I know how to be and I’m living my life the way I want to. I NO LONGER HAVE TO ANSWER TO ANYONE, especially the ones who conveniently made themselves sparse while I was going through…which is a whole ‘nother blogpost, in and of itself!

Once I became aware I was harboring this mind-set it was easy to release that way of thinking to the universe, but the kicker is being aware! And sometimes awareness only comes when you feel a backwards tug on your progress. I’m sure there are more bits and pieces out there I’ve yet to identify. This one was simple… when it comes to living my personal life, I. Owe. No. One. Anything!

Life Happens...

Wow..once again, almost another two years have passed! And here I am, feeling the need to blog again! My holdup? Life!! So much has happened since October 2010! You would think “life” would inspire you to write more but it’s a lot harder to find that free time when you’re dealing with “in your face” situations. The first being….my divorce. During the year of 2011, on my birthday, (1 November), the separation process started and a year and 29 days later, I was divorced! After 23 years, my marriage legally ended …and I’m okay. Actually, I’m better than okay. The last 23 years were learning and growing years. And guess what, dear Readers? You will be privy to a few of the many life lessons I’ve acquired and hopefully you can get something out of these without having to experience it first-hand! Yaayyy!!

Lesson 1: It is okay to love and forgive; just know you must let go once the “forgiving” becomes rote and the loving is heavily one-sided.

Lesson 2: Children are truly blessings from God! They are smarter and more aware than you’ll ever suspect so “holding on” for their sake is most times just an excuse for you to hold on for your own sake!

Lesson 3: Know that the combination of prayer and faith is NO JOKE! Having God on your side and knowing He’s there with you make all the decisions feel right and will have even those who seem to be your biggest enemies work for you towards your better being.

Lesson 4: It is perfectly normal and okay to be afraid…what’s shameful is when you let that fear block and overrule the steps you need to take to get to your blessings.

Those are just a few of the many valuable lessons learned. That whole process personifies an analogy I’ve used many times before. “You have to go through it, to get to it!” You must push through the bushes that are blocking your pathway…yes, you may get scratched a little bit and you may even trip, but once you’re through it, …the other side is beautiful! And with that beauty comes the knowledge and recognition of the other bushes that will surely pop up; but then, you’ll be better equipped and will indeed know how to better maneuver though.

Nappy-oke!!!

Hey ya’ll! On September 25th, I met up with two old friends (and one new friend!) for an event hosted by Tempie of Asaze Natural Hair Salon. *Asaze Natural Hair Salon is located in Northeast Washington, DC. The event was “Nappy-oke”…this is where Natural Hair meets Karaoke, per the flyer. The admission fee for this event was only $5 per person so you know this was impossible to turn down attending! What?! Natural hair AND karaoke? My two most favorite things right now!



<-- Tracy








<-- Jennifer and Yvonne





My girlfriends and I met up at a central location and rode in together to the event that was held in SE Washington, DC. And we had a blast! Not only was it good seeing and catching up with old friends and making a new one, the event was really nice. I’d spoken with Tempie, the hostess, a couple days prior to the event so meeting up with her was one of the first things on our agenda. Tempie was super nice and attentive! She made us feel right at home from the first few seconds upon entering the building. She even joined us for our Karaoke bit! Ok, the real story is, after we attempted to chicken-out of performing, she “encouraged” us to brave the crowd by volunteering to be the lead singer! *We ended up being “Sister Sledge and company”, jamming to “We are Family”!! We weren’t all that good but had such a good time up there, feeling like stars as cameras flashed. I’m still waiting (dreading!) to see us appear on a youtube video somewhere!



Tempie, of Asaze Natural Hair Salon -->








In addition to embarrassing, …uh, I mean performing our bit, we hit the vendors booths! Yeah! After visiting EACH and EVERY single booth, I ended up making a couple decent purchases; my favorite was this awesome sterling silver and turquoise bracelet from “Shopwize Treasure Chest” (www.shopwizetreasurechest.com). Denise, the owner, really knew how to make a sell!



I also found this gawgeous pair of earrings at the booth of Sabirah, Metal Jewelry Artist!


There were many other awesome vendors there; check out a sampling below:


Ms Takisha Robinson, Designer and Owner of "Many Treasures For You" was seriously working it out!


Here's Ms Denise, of Shopwize Treasure Chest (sold me my sterling silver bracelet!)



Angelia's Afro-Centric Hairbraiding Services



I didn't get this gentleman's name but he was representing Dr. Miracles product...


Designs By Talia...







Ebony's Braidery...







Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry...




Ok, you get the picture...there were many more vendors but due to time constraints (and the arrival of my Thai dinner!), I guess you guys will have to attend the next event to see them all! lol!! Later ya'll!!!

The County Fair....

Ok, so the County Fair happened this past weekend and I must say, it was pretty neat!



My daughters, one of their friends and I ventured down to the county fair this past Saturday. Can you say 5 hours? Yeah.



They had a ball and I actually enjoyed casually walking through all of the displays and "people watching". The fried cat fish and fries were delish and the cotton candy topped the night off perfectly.













I was one tired mama around 8:00p that night but it was worth it. One never seems to outgrow the County Fair...

I believe in miracles...

Do you?

As children, we read so many stories about the miracles that Jesus performed; as a young adult, I used to question as to why that type of thing didn’t happen anymore. Later in life, I was shown that miracles do in fact happen, each and every day of our lives. No, not just the miracle of life but “bible-time” type miracles.

A week ago I called into the Lexus dealership to schedule my routine car maintenance for this past Saturday. After getting lost (thanks hubby!) I still managed to arrive at the dealership about 15 minutes early. So, I’m processed in and directed to the waiting area because this was only a routine appointment, shouldn’t take more than an hour, hour and a half.

About two hours later, the attendant comes in and tells me, “Ma’am, they’re JUST STARTING to work on your car, would you like a loaner?” Yes, of course. So she gathers the necessary items and away she goes to get the loaner car. Now, if any of you have had service that was not up to par, you know the next thing I did was go find the manager. Before I could finish the second sentence, he acknowledged they’d messed up and offered to discount half of my bill. Cool.

So away I go in what I must admit is a beautiful white hybrid Lexus 350. Some of you may consider this strange, but I name my cars. The one I currently have is charcoal grey 350 and his name is “Greyson”. Yeah, yeah…anyway, so this one was so pretty it ALMOST had me comparing it to Greyson.

Later that night, the girls and I are returning home from dinner (see picture below!) and we’re at a red stop light, getting ready to make a left turn once the light turned green. Along come these two cars traveling in opposite directions, perpendicular to us at the stop light, and one decides to make a left turn. The driver couldn’t have been paying attention because he/she turns RIGHT IN FRONT OF the oncoming car that’s going through the green light!

Mind you, my daughters and I have front row seats to this “about to happen” accident. I immediately scream, “Oh my God, they’re going to ….” And then before I could finish…. CRASH!!! When these two cars collided, one car ended up less than two feet from us, turned in the opposite direction on the medium right beside us and the other car is hit and rolls right in front of our car! We are so close to the impact, we were able to see the shattered glass and car parts rain down in front of the car we were in!

The miracle? I honestly believe everything that happened was in place according to God’s Will. You may say coincidence but I don’t believe in coincidences. Check this out:

- When one of the cars made impact, the car swerved, and it was headed straight-on to our car but the driver turned the wheel in time to jump the medium instead of hitting us. Would he/she have seen us if we were in my charcoal grey car?
- If you make a right angle, that is the layout of the accident; we were in the “V” of the right angle and NOT ONE PIECE of debris from the accident touched the car we were in and we were less than a yard away!
- When we got home and took our shopping bag out of the car, we immediately noticed there was a scripture on the bottom of the bag. John 3:16. Yeah.

Miracles happen every day and sometimes we put them off as “coincidence” or “strange” happenings. So, the next time you have to wait a little longer, or something feels as if it’s inconveniencing you, stop and think that maybe that extra couple minutes could make a difference in your life. Thank God for working to His Will and knowing where you need to be, when.

Umm Umm Good!

The girls and I went out to dinner tonight...here's what I had:



Spinach Salmon with baked mac and cheese and asparagus spears...sweet tea rounded this meal off. It was delicious! :)

Since mid-February of this year, I've limited my meat intake, having only seafood as my "meat". I feel better for it, have lost a few pounds and this meal goes to show, this isn't as bad or as hard, as we meat-eaters may think!!

Temporary MIA..

I'm Georgia bound tomorrow! Yay! Going down to spend a little time to see family. So, if this page gets a teeny bit slow...that's why! I know it's going to be lots of fun *claiming that right now! Thank Jesus!* lol!! and I will have plenty of pictures to post once I return!

Until then, Peace!! :)