To do or not to do?

I was online recently and noticed a post about prenuptial agreements. The premise was, “if you have to have a prenup, you’re looking to fail and/or don’t trust the one you’re with”. <_< I’m pretty sure the folks saying this have never gone through a divorce. It’s not about trusting the one you’re with, it’s about being able to trust who they TURN INTO when things don’t go as planned!

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not about material things. Meaning, it’s not what or how much you have, it’s what you do with those things you do have. I’m not about trying to figure out how much cash or “things” I can take from someone…but having gone through my divorce, I now know things would have been much easier and WAY less expensive if we’d had a plan in place, aka prenup.

If I’d known …..no, if I’d had in writing who would be responsible for doing what in this event, …wow! I know at least $5,000 would have been saved…and that’s just on one party’s side! Another advantage would be you and your partner will have decided all of this during a time you were both working with logic vs. emotion. Imagine how much money would be saved if you weren’t arguing over petty things, just to “score a point”! When you are required to go through mediation and the courts, every second of “mediating” and “courting” cost money. We spent a minimum of 15 minutes, going back and forth, on whom the bookcases would go to! Bookcases, ya’ll!! In the end, I only asked for a few personal effects in the distribution of goods, just to end the unnecessary bickering....may not seem like the smart thing but trust me, "peace-of-mind" out trumps the "one up".

I’m not saying go line by line on who gets every single piece of household goods, but at least have some sort of plan set up to make things easier! How much easier it would be if it’s already agreed upon soon-to-be-hubby will take whatever pets there are because he enjoys animals way more than wifey does; or that wifey will get to keep the collection of dolphins because she’s the one who’s collecting them? Sounds petty, huh? Trust me, these are very mild examples of what can take place during such high level of anxiety and emotional upset.

Now, with all of that said, if you don’t feel it’s the right thing for you,…fine, disregard this and plow straight ahead. And I pray your relationship much success; however, if you’re not sure, at least give it a brain cell or two worth of thought!