After being part of a couple for so many years, to all of a sudden be flung into being “single” can be quite traumatic. If you’re beyond the age of 40+, the learning curve can feel rather daunting. Not just re-learning how to do things as a singular but to also change your way of thinking non-plural. *that’s not a word? …well, how about this: to only have to consider yourself when making decisions. I know, I know…just the thought of this is overwhelming, right? “You mean to tell me, I can paint my bedroom ANY color I want without snide remarks, negotiations, or veto powers-that-be? Wait a minute,… let me catch my breath! Ok, now, don’t get me wrong, I know perfectly well there’s another side to that too…having to make the decision on whether or not to replace a doo-hickey that you know absolutely NOTHING about, can have the opposite effect. Wait a minute…let me catch my breath!
Thoughts along those lines are almost automatic in your process of detaching from plural but there are other, less obvious things you can get stuck on. The one thing I found myself jammed on was a mind-set. I was so used to thinking a certain way, of having to consider another person’s feelings for such a long time, I got temporarily stalled in the “moving on” process. Making decisions that alters your preferences because you don’t want to make “so-and-so” upset or you don’t want to have to answer any questions from “such-and-such”. What the heck?!! I owe no one anything… I’ve been the best person I know how to be and I’m living my life the way I want to. I NO LONGER HAVE TO ANSWER TO ANYONE, especially the ones who conveniently made themselves sparse while I was going through…which is a whole ‘nother blogpost, in and of itself!
Once I became aware I was harboring this mind-set it was easy to release that way of thinking to the universe, but the kicker is being aware! And sometimes awareness only comes when you feel a backwards tug on your progress. I’m sure there are more bits and pieces out there I’ve yet to identify. This one was simple… when it comes to living my personal life, I. Owe. No. One. Anything!
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