Letting Go...

A few days ago I made a decision to end a relationship that was very important to me. It wasn’t sudden but it didn’t require months upon months to attempt to figure out. In the last couple months of that relationship, I felt alone; even though there were daily conversations, there was only minimal connection.

I’ve been known to advise folks,… no, I’ve dictated and stressed the point, of not making excuses for other folks bad behavior. If you read further back in my postings you will see my occasional rant about making your partner a priority when you’re only an option to them…where I would say, “if he REALLY wanted to be with you, nothing on God’s green earth would stop him from doing that!” And yet, here I was…questioning myself on whether or not I made the right decision in attempting to end this before my feelings and attitude turned into something negative. When lately, it seemed, ANYTHING could quickly place me on the back burner of his attention…making plans and not following through; numerous conversations about what was needed in the relationship with promises to “work on it” but no actions behind the declarations; outside forces that may have influenced decisions made, whether intentional or not on their parts.

*sidenote here: Folks, friends are good to have but if your partner is hearing about what “they” are saying about them, yet have never had the pleasure to meet them, a problem may arise. Not just one of the everyday problems that’s bound to happen in any relationship, but one of those “I-can’t-speak-honestly-about-this-to-you-because-I-know-how-much-this-friend(ship)-means-to-you” types of problems…or an “I-don’t-want-to-negatively-affect-your-friendship-by-expressing-what-I-feel-because-I-know-they-are-important-to-you” types of problems…second only to children and religion.

To be fair, he had a plan…to work hard and get in a better position life-wise. I totally got that. However, when time is found for any other extra thing, why couldn’t time be found to spend with me? When I expressed a concern, instead of addressing it, I’m charged with being negative and/or thinking negatively? When my requests and time are no longer important or respected? I just wasn’t a priority anymore. So I had to let go.