A couple weeks ago, I had a somewhat attractive man walk over to me. He introduced himself and a little later, asked if we could exchange numbers. I’m a single lady, so I agreed with the exchange…he seemed like a charming enough dude. Fast forward a conversation or two later, and there are the edges of red flags popping out of closed closet doors. The first sighting of a red flag was when he said, “Well, I know I’m not where I need to be but I’m not going to complain about the past…” Huh, what?! What that mean?! Ok ladies…this will be the first interpreted phrase of "chump-speak" of the day: This statement usually means he has “Tommy-itis”…aka “he ain’t got no job!”.
The next flag appeared when he made the statement, “My cousin is suppose to help fix my car later this week…, yeah, uh, it needs a new motor.” Are you serious, dude? What?? Now ladies, I’m not sure about the fixings and makings of cars, but a motor is what makes a car…well, …a car, right?!! Yep, you got it, this is “chump-speak” for, “I don’t have a car.”
Phrase and red flag number three was when he said, “I’m fixing to be looking for me a place in the next couple of months”…. O_O Yeppers, you DAMN skippy, his living arrangements are questionable…aka, he’s living with his mom, step mom, auntie, etc….!! I'm not no where interested in what you "fixin" to do! What the heck-a-roni is going on here!!
Breathe, breathe… Ok, you may think I’m being a little hard on a brother, especially in these times of economic hardship and thangs…and I would agree,… IF this dude was pre-28 years old! This man was over 40!! Now, don’t get me wrong…I’ve met WONDERFUL men who are just in a bad position right now due to circumstances out of their control and that’s totally understandable, especially if you see him actively and persistently pursuing opportunities to do better for himself… No, I’m not talking about THAT dude…I’m talking about a dude who gave no indication whatsoever he has EVER lived self-sufficiently, NEVER had a job my teen-aged daughters wouldn’t compete for, NEVER responsibly driven a car without the law being after’em for irresponsible behavior behind the wheel! <_< …ok, well, THAT part I “googled”…lol Either way, he’s clearly not ready to add a woman to his mix.
So I must now ask, WHY would you approach a woman in the first place? I’ve worked hard and by the Grace of God have gotten to a place where I’m happy and self-sufficient, able to take care of myself, my kids, bills, a cat and a dog…why would I want to raise a grown ass man??! When I’m out with my girlfriends on the weekend, don’t call me asking what I’m doing!! I’m out relaxing after WORKING the whole week, what are YOU doing, ‘gro? What, …you want to hang out? HOW YOU GON’ DO THAT, BRO? You ain’t got a car and I’m sure not a freakin’ taxi!! And once we got to where we were going, then what? Watch the people around us eat, drink and be merry?!! Ugh! Now you mad because I’m out doing things…and don’t have time for your foolishness! “You can just call me when you have TIME for a brother!” O_O…yeah, that’s what he said!! Needless to say, that’s going to be a call that won’t be coming ANY time soon!
MEN, you must be in a place where a female would feel secure about being if things went wrong for her, before approaching her for a relationship. If you can’t show that you’re SELF-sufficient, how are you going to take care of a woman? If you don’t have a place to live, transportation, OR a job, YOU’RE NOT IN A POSITION TO DATE YET!!! If you see a woman you’re interested in, introduce yourself with honest intent…letting her know you’re interested but is not in the position you want to be to start dating, but you’d like to have her as a friend. You may get further that way and maybe one day, when you do get your stuff together, she’ll look at you as an honest individual and friend with the possibility of going further, instead of just a dude feeding her a bunch of “Chump-Speak”!!
Until next time ya'll....Toodles!
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